How Do I Know If I’m Gay?

Knowing whether or not you might be gay is not an easy question to answer for everyone. Some people feel sure of their sexual orientation from an early age and others take much longer to discover it.

In the end, only you will be able to decide if you are gay or not, but there are some questions and information you can consider as you’re trying to sort out your feelings.

What Does It Mean To Be Gay?

Gay people are sexually attracted to and may fall in love with other people of the same gender. They may also feel some degree of attraction to another gender, but they identify as gay. A person might realize they are gay from a very young age, and others may realize it much later. Some young gay people may feel different, but be unsure about why or how they are different from their friends or peers.

Forget What You Think You Know About Gay People

There are a lot of stereotypes out there about gay people, but just like any stereotype, you can’t assume that they are true for every person. There is no particular mannerism or look that is "gay." Just like any group of people, preferences, looks, interests and style varies a great deal from person to person.

Just because you are gay does not mean that everyone will automatically know. Most gay people don’t wear banners proclaiming their orientation, and chances are you already know many people who are gay, but just don’t fit into the ‘gay stereotype’.

What Do My Sexual Fantasies Mean?

Sexual fantasies are not always easy to interpret, but research has shown that many people who do not identify as gay have had same gender fantasies at some point. Just because you might fantasize about a same gender sexual experience, doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re gay. Also, many young people have a lot of intense sexual fantasies about different people and situations. Usually as they get older their feelings and orientation will become more clear.

Sexuality Is Fluid.

If you’re trying to make sense of your feelings, it might help to know that sexuality doesn’t fall solely into two categories – gay or straight. The best understanding that we have of sexuality is that it is fluid and very individual. Some people feel 100% gay or 100% straight, while others might feel like they fall somewhere on the continuum between gay and straight.

Unfortunately, no one can tell you 100% if you are gay or not, only you can know that. But there are some further questions you can consider. When you dream or have a fantasy, is it usually about the same gender? Do you have romantic and loving feelings towards someone of the same gender? Do you feel different from others that are of your same gender? Do you regularly have strong feelings for the same gender?

Even if your answers to these questions are yes, you still might feel unclear about your sexual orientation. That’s okay. It may take some time for you to feel sure about it. For many people it helps to reach out to others who have been in the same position. Seeking community support through an LGBT organization online or in your area may help you to clarify some of your feelings. Check online for support near you.

One thing you need to know: whether you are straight, gay or bi, it is absolutely fine to be who you are.

Can a Lesbian Quiz Answer the Question?

Are you confused about your sexual orientation? Have you tried one or all of the lesbian quizzes on the internet trying to figure yourself out? If you have, you probably still aren’t sure. If you haven’t don’t waste your time. The only real way to determine your sexual orientation is to look deep inside yourself. The answer lies within you…in your heart you probably already know what that answer is.

If you are seeking out quizzes and questioning your sexual orientation, something must have happened to make you do that. That is the first place you should start your inner search. Were you attracted to someone of the same sex? Did a lesbian scene in a movie or book turn you on? Ask yourself if it was a one-time thing or if it has happened before. The more attractions you have had, the more likely you are lesbian.

Along with examining your feelings toward women, you also have to think about how you’ve felt toward the men in your past. If you have been attracted to men, try to determine if your feelings for women have been stronger. Also take a look at the number of attractions of each sex you have had. If there are only 1 or 2 men you can think of, but several women, that should tell you something.

In fact, the most confusing aspects of determining your sexual orientation will probably center around your relationships with men. Because sexual orientation is theorized to exist on a continuum, you may lean heavily toward lesbianism, but still have an occasional attraction to a man. Typically, the attraction will be of shorter duration and less intense that with women, however. Even more confusing, it is possible for some lesbians to enjoy a sex with a man.

The most important thing to remember is that physical sex is not the hallmark of lesbianism. The most important factor is romantic attraction. In short, falling in love. If you have fallen head over heels, crazy in love with a woman, if you can’t get her off your mind, you probably don’t need a quiz. You probably already know and are trying to confirm it.

If you have examined all these issues and still spend significant time and emotional energy in confusion about your orientation, it might be time to consult a professional to help you sort things out. It is best to find a therapist or coach who specializes in sexuality and who you can feel comfortable with.

Landlord-Tenant Law: Rights and Responsibilities

In a college town like La Crosse, Wis., it’s no surprise that one of every two residents lives in a rental property. If you’re one of those renters or landlords-or you’re getting ready to help your own son or daughter find a place to rent this fall, it’s important to understand your basic rights and responsibilities.

While the specifics will vary with individual leases, Wisconsin requires these basics.

For Tenants

    • You cannot be unlawfully discriminated against on the basis of race, color, national origin, ancestry, age, religion, sex, familial status, marital status, handicap, sexual orientation, lawful source of income or status as a victim of domestic violence/sexual abuse/stalking.


    • Your landlord cannot enter the property without notice, except in an emergency.


    • You have the right to property that is not dangerous or lacking basic needs. That means you are entitled to heat in the winter, intact windows, deadbolt locks on doors, smoke alarms and other basics to keep you safe on the property.


    • You have the right to know if there’s lead paint on the property.


    • You can (and should) request a check-in/check-out sheet before moving in. That sheet can help pinpoint problems with the property and determine whether you can expect the landlord to fix it. If it’s a fundamental feature, you may request it be fixed. If it’s cosmetic, the landlord may choose whether to repair it, and you may likewise choose not to rent. In any event, going through the checklist before moving in will ensure the landlord can’t hold you responsible for broken fixtures or problems that existed before you moved in.


    • Once you’ve rented, if you encounter problems and an unresponsive landlord, you have the right to complain to the city inspection department without retaliation by the landlord. Inspectors can order landlords to fix problems.


    • If a problem exists that requires you to leave the property, you may be entitled to rent abatement, which is essentially a prorated return on the rent.


    • If you pay a security deposit, you have the right to a 21-day notice of the landlord’s intention to charge against it. You may not be charged for normal wear and tear, including routine maintenance and cleaning.


  • When tenancy ends, you have the right to a full refund of your security deposit balance within 21 days of vacating.

For Landlords

    • You have the right to receive rent in full and on time according to the specifics of your lease agreement.


    • You have the right to inspect the property on 12 hours’ notice. It’s always best to provide notice in writing.


    • You have the right to enter the property without notice in an emergency, such as flooding or a gas leak.


    • You have the right to a tenant who does not destroy or abuse the property such that its value is diminished.


    • You have a right to evict the tenant if they are using the property for illicit purposes, e.g., dealing drugs.


    • When the tenancy ends, you have the right to get your keys back or charge the tenant for costs to rekey the property.


    • You are entitled to request a security deposit, usually equal to one month’s rent. If you must rekey a lock or conduct repairs beyond normal wear and tear, you may deduct those fees from the deposit. It’s best to keep a written record of such expenses.


    • If damages exceed the amount provided by a security deposit, you have the right to file a lawsuit to collect the balance.


    • In cases where renters violate the terms of a lease agreement (e.g., failure to pay, property damage, etc.), you may end the tenancy. For month-to-month renters, you can provide a five-day notice, giving the renter five days to cure the violation before requiring them to vacate. Alternatively, you may provide a 14-day notice that offers no option to maintain the tenancy but instead alerts tenants that the agreement has ended and they have two weeks to vacate. The notice rule is different for yearly tenants.


  • If tenants do not move out by the appointed deadline, you may pursue eviction proceedings in small claims court.

Generally speaking, reputable landlords will use written leases to spell out rules and general principles that will apply during the term of the lease. Leases work best when used in conjunction with a lead paint disclosure form, if appropriate, check-in/out lists and a security deposit sheet. Written records tend to be far more accurate than memory and are generally deemed more reliable by courts. Given the ease of use of digital cameras, often landlords and tenants both will take photos of the property before and after the tenancy.

Landlord-tenant law can be very complex. Should you, as a tenant or landlord, encounter a dispute regarding a rental property or lease, your best bet is to consult a real estate attorney experienced in rental property issues.

For both tenants and landlords, the city of La Crosse offers a Residential Rental Inspection Pamphlet that outlines rights and responsibilities for both parties. It can also provide basic guidelines for renting elsewhere in Wisconsin.

How Can a Sexologist Help You in Life?

Sexology can be defined as a scientific study that can easily be applied in human sexuality. This also includes functions, sexual interests and behaviors. This term does not always refer to the non- scientific study such as social criticism and political science. All it deals with is sex and only sex. These sexologists are very professional and well- learned and they apply all the tools from various academic fields like medicine, biology, epidemiology, psychology, criminology and sociology. The topics include sexual orientation, sexual development, sexual relationships, paraphilia and normal sexual activity.

Sexology details

Any normal sexuality can easily cover a very broad or wide spectrum. Also most of the experts in this particular field are very much interested in diversity of the human sexuality and this is what can contribute to the process of sexual development. This means that there is an interaction between sexuality and culture. The other professionals can also be interested in pathologies and the facts that cause people to develop in a very dangerous or abnormal manner when it comes to behaviors. Here arises the topic of sexual dysfunction for most of the professionals in this particular field. In this case the researchers study the various solutions and causes for this particular problem in order to improve your quality of life if you are also struggling with such a problem.

Cons of this field

A sexologist during the course of his practice can go through a lot of downs. This is because the society is not yet completely open with topics related to sex and sexual interests. Not everyone is open to or comfortable with discussing sex with the doctor. This makes things all the more difficult for the sexologist and improving the quality of life can become extremely complex.

Freud, a well renowned professional in this field developed a particular theory on this field. There are mainly three stages namely, oral, phallic, Anal, genital and latency. Almost all of these stages run from the infant stage to the puberty stage and then continues onwards. After this theory was discussed most of the researchers gathered a lot of momentum and this helped them to continue with a lot more researches. This momentum has only resulted in helping us and no one else. Thus it becomes all the more important to study sexology with a lot of concentration in order to improve our sexual life. It is one of the important things to remember.

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